It’s been a while since I wrote something special for my trolls. There have been plenty since I came back to blogging. Well, trolls, this one is for you…

“Dear Dan,”

“All your stuff, it used to be so rad,
But Dan, it all now sucks SO bad!
I’m leaving now, which makes me glad,
But first some words to make you sad.”

“I mean, I can’t just leave here quietly.
I must shout my reasons: one, two, and three.
You HAVE to know how you’ve done me wrong,
And how I loved, but hated you all along.”

“You made me laugh, and now you don’t.
I clicked your links, but now I won’t.
Your light, dear sir, it has gone out.
Your words are as dry as tile grout.”

“The world does not want more of you,
You’ve had your day, you’re done, you’re through.
All these happy comments here,
They cannot last, the end is near.”

“I’m leaving now. I’m done, for sure.
To do so loudly is the only cure.
And if anyone else has half a brain,
They’ll jump on board. They’ll do the same.”

“Love, the trolls.”

Hm.

Well…

“Dear trolls,”

“I’m in a corner weeping now,
So many tears, I’ll need a towel.
You’ve helped me see just who I am,
A pile of turd, a hack of phlegm.”

“You could have left without a word,
But that would just be so absurd.
I needed to hear why you have to go.
I needed to know that I’m now alone.”

“So many tears, I just might now drown,
I’m a fraud, a phony, just another clown.
What was I thinking, sharing part of me,
Not seeing what a massive waste it be.”

“I think I might just disappear,
Now that you’ve made it all so clear.
‘Twas fun while it lasted, I’ll admit
But now it’s all just pure bullshit.”

“Oh, wait. Hold on. This just in.
I put your comments in the fuck ’em bin.
Turns out I don’t care a single bit
When you stomp your feet and throw a fit.”

“Turns out I don’t write just for you.
I don’t worry about what you will do.
I write, I share, me at my core.
Those who like it can stay for more.”

“And if you leave, well, that’s okay.
It’s not for you, no, not today.
Just click the button and let me go,
No need to put on some giant show.”

“Love, Dan”

Dan Pearce | The Single Dad Laughing Blog

PS. The vast, vast, vast majority of you have been awesome, and supportive, and positive. You rock.