I just got back from the dentist. It didn’t really go as quickly or as easily as planned. I am not going to be able to write a well thought-out blog post for you all today. So, instead, I decided to have some fun while I am all hopped up on pain killers and mouth numbing shots. Today, I just used “talk to text” on my iPhone, and I present to you my thoughts while I am high and unable to move my mouth, basically at all.

Here goes…

My tooth is been hurting pretty bad, so soon go to the dentist today and see if we can help him fix it.

I thought, I will have him maybe he can just do a quick Drew and give me a quick feeling and be on me gay. But instead I love the dentist of the nipple do my teeth right out of my head.

Next thing you know he’s got players he shoot me full of shots, yanking on them teeth and he pulls him right out of my school.

Well I won’t lie to you well, I’m not enough full of pain right now. That’s OK because he gave me some medicine that’s going to help my brain not feel nothing. 

I was talking to the dental hygienist who told me that I needed to floss better. And I looked at my two bloody teeth on the table and I said I think you may have a point no velvet from here on out I will flush those two teeth right there I’ll never miss a fast food long as I live. 

Anyway, I hope you all have an a much better day than I am, getting teeth pulled out of your head and exactly the funnest thing. But hey, in life you got to take the bad days with good days, you got to be thankful that not every day it’s a bad day that you’re getting teeth pulled out of your school. 

And on your bad days, I just hope that you get a dentist or doctor or friend like I have, I need to give you some awesome pills like mine gave me.

Life is good. At least I hope it will be stool after the shots and the pain pills wear off. See you tomorrow.

Dan Pearce | The Single Dad Laughing Blog

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Dan Pearce is an American born writer, photographer, and artist. His books include "The All-Important, Well-Fed, Giant White Man" and "The Real Dad Rules." He is best known for his blog (and supporting Facebook page) "Single Dad Laughing," with 2 million followers as of 2018.